Once again, Blue Q is the darling of yet another trade show.  This time it’s the Natural Products Expo West show in Anaheim. 

This was a four day show (that  ended over the weekend) and the Blue Q shoppers were singled out by the Editors at the Natural Foods Merchandiser.

This trade show is all about natural and recycled and environmental concerns and the Blue Q bag collection is a perfect fit for their purpose.  Not only are the bags manufactured using recycled materials, but a portion of each sale is donated to charity.

The show is a great venue for remembering that healthy living isn’t just about what you eat.

What?    I’ve got a serious and sensitive and concerned side to my personality too.  I’m multi-layered.

Shut up.

Meryl Hooker named Blue Q Sales Rep of the Year for 2009
(psst:  if you don’t know what the heck a Rep is, see ***Paragraph 5)

 The announcement was made in Booth #1509 at the New York International Gift Fair on Sunday, January 31st.   Upon receiving this recognition she thanked  “the baby Jesus, KISS, Blue Q and all of my fabulous customers.  Now that I have this sales thing down, I’m moving on to world peace!”  In attendance were Seth and Mitch Nash – the owners of Blue Q.

Refreshment platters of cheese, nuts and dried fruits were accompanied by red wine.  Also on hand for the festivities were Blue Q Sales Department honchos Jen Cummings and Paul Boulais. 

Ms. Hooker was not seen wearing velvet or taffeta, though she was spotted sporting the quite fully glittered and equine worthy 1st Prize ribbon.

A monetary award was presented – and not refused.  “Hey, I might not get that world peace thing figured out on the first attempt,’” quipped Hooker.

***Paragraph 5:
Since Art Star and Handyman can’t do it all ourselves, Blue Q enlists the services of Sales Reps all over the country (and Canada, too) to show our products to store owners, buyers and merchandisers at gift stores, grocery stores, etc.  Their voices are part of the Blue Q choir.  Meryl Hooker belts out loud and clear in the mid-Atlantic area.

A resident of Washington DC, she also covers Maryland, Delaware and Virginia  for Blue Q as well as other (less notable) lines.  Though a full time sales rockstar, she occassionally moonlights as a garden gnome.

Her favorite flower is the daisy.

Visit her blog - Road Rage – to keep in touch with all that she’s got goin’ on.

Not last night – cause I was sleeping with Evan Lysacek.

The night before that I was with Lindsey Vonn and Julia Mancuso.

On Tuesday I was consoling Lindsey Jacobellis.

But I slept with Tiger Woods.  Many times over the years.

The first time we met was back in what ? 1995 when he won the US Amateur Championship title for the second time?  That’s when we met.  Yep, we slept together that very night.

Our paths have crossed over the years.  Nothing serious but, you know how it is with old friends, one thing leads to another and before you know it . . .

So I’m just another one of his conquests.  One of many.  And I’m not ashamed.  Many of you have slept with Tiger as well.  You know that you have.

I’ll sleep with him again.  And again.  And again.

Cause he ain’t going away and his greatness will continue long after the media whores have dumped him for the next scandal.

I am ashamed that I also slept with Johnny Weir.  I  have a weakness for pink tassels – what can I say.

Finding a decent place to eat in Manhattan is a hideous chore.
Only because . . . where do you even start ?

On my most recent trip to Manhattan, I was lucky to meet up with my Cousin Margaret .  She had a thought or two.  And it was restaurant week !

Originally it was going to be two of us at the Fig and Olive .

But, when it became three of us and the Fig and Olive wouldn’t be able to accommodate our enlarged party – we had to find an alternate eatery.

Margaret suggested Spice Market on the corner of 9th and West 13th in the Meatpacking District of lower Manhattan.

It was fantastic!

It’s an Asian something or other type place with a decent wine menu and lots of choices.  All were very attractively presented and we had an animated waiter guy.  He was real, not a cartoon or anything.  Well, he could have been a cartoon but he was a real human – you know the type I mean.  Anyway,

I didn’t know anything about Jean Georges Vongerichten so I didn’t know that I should have been paying closer attention to the decor and food and such.  I’ll need to go back now that I know I should have appreciated it more.  You can have a very good dining experience for $60 – $70 per person – easily.

Visit Jean-Georges’ blog to read about the new restaurant opening – The Mark Restaurant on the Upper East Side.

I know that some of my co-workers went to the Fatty Crab.  They do like that place, but I’ve never been.  We used to go to Florent - but it closed.  I had another dinner at the Lasagna Restaurant (really, that was the name) right on 9th in Hells’ Kitchen.  I had a lobster lasagna.  It was good.  I was trying to find Thalia but it was on 8th not 9th so I thought it was closed.

See, there are so many place to eat!

Where should I go next time I’m in the city ?

I haven’t had the chance to research Veridian Dynamics but I do like their philosophy.

I mentioned this notion to a co-worker or two and they laughed.  Like it was a joke or something.  I laughed along with them but I don’t think it’s funny at all.

Some people actually feel like they’re providing a benefit to the company they work for by ‘politely’ inquiring ‘How was your weekend?’.    But seriously, if you ask that of 8 people – haven’t you done nothing for the first hour of a Monday morning ?

And come on, let’s be real, we mostly don’t care what our co-workers did on the weekend.  We’re just asking because it’s the ‘polite’ thing to do.  And some people don’t really get it.  They actually think you’re interested and tell you all about the t-ball game on Saturday that the ‘little one’ had and how Sheila had brought the most god-awful mango-coconut water for the wee babes after the game.

See Sheila, recently divorced, has become a health fanatic and has restructured the diet of her 4 children.  She has also become a bit strident.  Imposing her views on other children to the extent that some parents won’t let their kids over to her home anymore.  And she’s criticizing other parents about their lifestyles.  And nobody even asked Sheila to begin with.  Who the hell does she think she is?  And she shouldn’t talk cause her eldest, Mikko (what type of name is that?) isn’t the type of child most of us dream of.  But let’s not . . .

What did I just do?  See what happens.  We’ve wasted goodness golly gracious how many minutes here and we’re not even talking to or about a friend.  We’re talking about co-workers simply being ‘polite’ to each other.  Imagine how much time is wasted between ‘friends’.

I guess we’re talking about how some people don’t quite understand everyday common courtesies and niceties.  When a co-workers asks “How ya doin’?” The appropriate reply is “Fine, thank you”.  Cause really nobody wants to hear about your sciatica or your hemorrhoids or your lack of sleep due to Little Stevies bronchitis.

And another thing, when you start to talk about or reveal personal intimate details about your life you’re being rude and inconsiderate.  You’re putting somebody else in the uncomfortable position of having to listen and pretend to be concerned.  And that’s an awful position to be put in, let me tell you.  You don’t even have to be the person that’s being ‘revealed to’ but just being within hearing distance can make you squirm and thank god that you can walk away while poor Joe has to listen to the drivel.

Turn the baby and spank the roast, some people just don’t get it do they?

Right, so back to Veridian Dynamics.  They are right – not just about the lost productively due to ‘friendship’ and (by association) general abuse of common courtesy and workplace decorum.  But this ‘friendship’ is frequently assumed and not real.  So the workplace has now become uncomfortable and awkward as well as non-productive.

If you want to talk to people do it on your own time.  These people who chat and inquire and reveal and confess and whisper (read ‘wasting time while getting paid’) are also the same people who eat lunch.  Don’t get me started, there’s a time and a place for that as well.

So please, send me the name of the HR person at Veridian Dynamics.  E-mail and regular address would also be appreciated.  I’m dusting off my resume right now.

And I’m doing it during regular work hours.

EDITORS NOTE:  The views of the author do not reflect the views or management philosophy of Blue Q.

Better off Ted

‘Tongue in Chic”
The Los Angeles Times

The Times wasn’t really talking about the box itself but about The Standard in general.

Lots of hotels have gifts in the rooms – toiletries and such.  Maybe a bottle of water or M&M’s.  There’s stiff competition in the lodging market and at $250.00 a night  you sort expect something more than a teeny bar of soap and mango-lime shampoo.  Right?

At The Standard – you get condoms.  They do this so that you’ll have a  pleasurable climax to your stay.  I’ve not been to a The Standard myself so I’m not sure how far they’ll go to ensure your pleasure but I’m betting they’ll give you a  hand and bend over backward to serve you.

I know that the The Standard design team thought long and hard on the imagery they chose for the box.  Then they decided it wasn’t specific enough so they added the words ‘contains three lubricated condoms’.

Also, did they take a survey to determine how many condoms a person might reasonably need to have a good time ?  Or was that just how many would easily slip into an off the shelf box from their preferred box maker ?

And another thing, when you aren’t prepared for a good time, the last thing you’re thinking about is lubrication.  Not to worry, the good folks at The Standard have thought of everything for you.

Now, what’s the package for the nightstick and handcuffs look like ?

Yes, it's supposed to be upside down

We receive all types of solicitations at Blue Q.

We got this beauty from a box maker/printer the other day.

It was with a packet of materials to showcase the work that they do and to garner our future business.

Really?  Did they think that this box was going to help them achieve deep penetration in the box decorating market?

Do they know Blue Q at all?  This is how they think they’ll get into bed with us?

Our boxes are flocked.  Or foiled.  Or debossed.  Or embossed.  And diecut.  And have 8 colors.

This thing is flaccid.

Did they think we would be impressed with their limp display?

But it’s not entirely their fault.  They can only work with what they’re given.

But when I’m given pedestrian instructions, I don’t broadcast it and highlight it as an example of what I’m best at.

I don’t.  Do you?

The wonderful and colorful Blue Q shoppers will be featured in an upcoming exhibit in New York.

The Exhibit is titled ‘In The Bag’ and traces the beginnings of the ‘ban plastic bags movement’ and the growth of creative alternatives.

The exhibition aims to introduce grass roots recycling movements in small resourceful communities in the Philippines, Cambodia, India, Kenya among others and will highlight the work of contemporary artists (that’s where Blue Q comes in).  The curators are Liz Milwe and Peter Wormser.

The Exhibit will open on Thursday, January 28th at The Nathan Cummings Foundation (475 Tenth Avenue, 14th Floor).  Viewing hours are Monday – Friday 9:00am – 5:00pm by appointment only (call 212.787.7300 ext. 206).

Other designers and artists featured in the Exhibit include:  Half the Sky, Nahui Ollin, GG2G,  Julian Gilbert, Virginia Fleck, Dan Price and Tyler Velten.

Angry Fat Man - but funny

John Pinette has had an illustrious career as both a stand-up comedian and actor.  He has a comedy special titled I’m Starvin’ which was a follow up to his enormously successful CD Show Me That Buffet.

Pinette was born just outside Boston, Massachusetts and in 1999 he was named Stand-Up Comedian of the Year by the American Comedy Awards.  He might be familiar to you as the car-jack victim in the final episode of Seinfeld.

An accountant early in life, who would have thought he’d show up on Broadway – as Edna Turnblad in Hairspray (2005 – 2006).

This clip is from his 2006 concert I’m Starvin’.

There is nothing funnier than a hungry fat man.

It'll make you really fat

I just made this pie.  It’s my favorite pie in the whole wide world.  I hadn’t made it in a long time and had nearly forgotten how exciting and decadent it is.

At this time, in this place we all need a little excitement.  So I made a pie.

It’s a Sweet Potato Pecan Pie.  It’s a hyrbrid. Tasting all creamy and healthy like a pumpkin pie with cinnamon and nutmeg and all spice.  Yet crunchy and syrupy like a pecan pie.

Heaven on a fork with a crisp hallelujah.

I, like most cooks/chefs/bakers, have adjusted the original recipe (from the Dinosaur Bar-b-que) so you’ll never be able to actually taste my little slice of heaven. Have you heard of Dinosaur Bar-b-que?  Sort of cult favorite in Rochester New York that added locations in Syracuse and finally, in 2004, Harlem.

But if you like, I’ll share with you the original recipe.  Let me know – with a promise that you’ll make your own crust (one special secret to a great crust is using well chilled butter or crisco).