The Nail File

 From our friend Medusa….

So I completed my second marathon a couple of months ago.

The good news:  My time wasn’t humiliating (for my age) and I came through it with nine toenails intact.

The bad news:   Eewwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

This is one of the charming side benefits of running that runners somehow forget to mention when they’re nattering on about feeling as one with their bodies and the zen-like state they achieve and endorphin rushes and yadda yadda yadda. 

But it’s not all bad:  One runner told me that if you save your toenail and put it under your pillow, the Toenail Fairy will come and leave you a packet of Strawberry-Banana Gu.

Hardcore runners will tell you toenails are optional.  Super hardcore runners will tell you toenails are more trouble than they’re worth –  you’re better off just getting rid of them.

(Note to self:  don’t become a super hardcore runner.)

Well, I for one like my nine – whoops!  make that eight – toenails and I’m hoping they’ll decide to stick around.  I’m going to treat them to a nice bubble bath with Miso Pretty Bath Sake, which is absolutely positively triple-guaranteed to put pep in your step – whether you have ten toenails or eight.  Oopsy daisy!  I mean seven.

Update:  Since writing this, my future super hardcore runner 7-year-old lost a toenail.  He left it not under his pillow but at the foot of his bed (duh), and the Toenail Fairy left him a packet of Sport Beans!

Does this tutu make my butt look fast?

    So a couple of weeks ago was the Stockade-athon, a great 15K race in beautiful Schenectady, storied playground of the rich and famous.

    As I was running along, starting to hit my stride, I naturally looked around me for fellow runners to sneer at.

    When it’s time to sneer, there are always plenty of candidates.  There’s the woman who runs in a down coat and leg warmers even when it’s 60 degrees out.

    There’s the girl who thinks she needs to strap 6 bottles of Gatorade toherself to get through three miles.

    There’s the sex kitten in some sort of high-performance running tutu and  long silk scarf.  Long scarf?  Really?  Does the name “Isadora Duncan” mean nothing to you?

    Oh you poor saps, I say to myself.  You’re never going to get anywhere like that.

    And then I remember, as I always eventually do, that if I can see them, it’s because they’re AHEAD OF ME.  And then I tell my inner Mean Girl to STFU.

    As I settle down to eat Tutu Girl’s dust, I’m sure it’ll make me a better person.  In the long run.

Our friend Gretchen took a trip.

So, I was back visiting the parents in rural PA this Thanksgiving weekend, and we stopped into an antique barn.  …Because that’s what we do in rural PA.

In rifling through all the mildewed treasures, I came upon this stack of really well preserved old magazine ads.  And before I knew it, an hour had flown by.  Partly because I was fascinated and wanted to look at all of them.  But partly out of simple necessity – because it takes that long just to read the copy on them!  I was so struck by how many WORDS there were in these ads.  In our modern era of drastically reduced attention span, we cannot imagine spending this much time perusing one ad.  I mean, the world of “Mad Men” was employing actual writers – not just ad people.  Because when you read these blurbs, you are transported into these little poetic fictional fantasies. 

I bought one for a friend for Christmas – it’s an ad for sterling – and there is this entire little novella under a picture of a couple.  The man is telling the woman the reason he wanted to get her sterling this year for Christmas.  And in doing so, I kid you not, he reminisces about the day they met, every Christmas since then, and now how this one is different because it may be their last one for a “long long time…If the Army likes the looks of me.”  It’s dripping with sentiment and poetic touches.  I was actually moved! (…not to buy silver, mind you, but moved, nonetheless…)

These days we’re lucky if there is even a little catch phrase in a magazine ad.  More often than not, they’re just pictures of course. 

Here are some examples.  You may not be able to read the writing, but check out the size of the paragraphs and you’ll see what I mean.  I’ll also include a nice Christmas ad for Hoover, which doesn’t have many words in it – but is pretty…AND the woman is actually reading the instruction manual for the vacuum cleaner in the ad.  How sexy is THAT?

ps.  You gotta love the baby swilling 7-Up!

pps.  I had to put a bookmark in the middle of the National Cash Register ad and finish it later, it’s so long…

Blue Q.

NYIGF Summer 2010. 

Booth #1509. 

2 more days.

Ever been to a tradeshow before?  They’re amazing.  It’s wholesale for retail.  You walk into this cavernous space (a convention center, like the Javits Center in New York City) and every place that makes the stuff you love is there – except you can’t buy a damn thing.  It would probably be like an alcoholic walking into a bar that doesn’t sell any alcohol.  No wait, that doesn’t make sense. 

ANYWAY, it’s a big old marketplace for stores to buy stuff for YOU to buy.  And we adore our stores (you can click right here to find out where to buy our stuff in a nice old fashioned store right near where you live). 

There are tradeshows for everything: Natural Foods, Surf Expo (for…surfing?), Candy and Food and then there’s GOURMET Food and then also Closeout Stuff (like what you buy at The Dollar Store), Clothing, etc….

And they’re all full of cool crap.

And they’re full of really crappy crap (the opinions expressed in the Blue Q blog do not, in anyway, correspond with the opinions of Blue Q – even though I work here, at Blue Q).

I mean, really SILLY crappy crap.

And this woman is talking about how wonderful the show is.  “Gee, it’s really wonderful here, with all this crap I would NEVER pay retail for!”

But Blue Q always decorates the coolest looking booth for sure.  Here are just some setting up photos:

Come and visit!  We have snacks!  And great deals!  (if you’re a store).  And new stuff!  Long Live COMMERCE!

There is a local artist around these parts who we just love and adore.  Maggie Mailer – and she just had an exhibit open Saturday night at the Ferrin Gallery in Pittsfield, Ma. 

So, I’m walking around admiring the colors, the mood of these pieces – I ain’t no art critic, but I really dug these paintings.  There’s just this classic quality – but a modern spin.  And the colors.  And the strokes on these puppies….

And then I saw this:

Hey!!!!!!

I know that guy!!!!!

Mitch bought a bunch of these little beasts called Sonny Angels from some wholesaler at a tradeshow in Dallas?  I think he said Dallas - do you know them?  They’re always in the office ready to be presented to just the right person at just the right time.  Once, he gave one to me….and then I gave it to Maggie…and there it was!!

Here’s the one that inspired the work of art – see below on the box (Frog Girl).  These are all in blind boxes so you don’t know which one you’re getting until you rip it open.

You can try your luck and purchase one of these lil’ cupie dolls on Amazon, or just buy one of Maggie’s paintings.  I’d shoot for the latter – but wouldn’t you know it, that one had a red dot next to it.

Here lies the cutest Blue Q store I ever did see.  Elva’s Old P.O. on Monhegan Island, 10 miles off the coast of Maine.  You have to get there by boat.  There are only a dozen vehicles on the island (and some renegade golf carts).

And I was lucky enough to be there (on vacation – yeeeee hawwww!!!).

I hate to even tell you where Monhegan Island is, because then, you see, you will go and then you will all be there and it won’t be the bestest little place ever but heck, what’re’ya’gonna’do?

There’s a wonderful photo essay done by Amy Toensing on the island (go to her site – click on National Geographic and then click on Monhegan Island). 

It’s got a tiny year round population, and the weather is tough to get through (although the locals will tell you that their favorite part of the year is the Winter), but during the Summer, it’s a great place to check out.

I mean come on, does a store get any cuter?  It used to be (yep, you guessed it) the old Post Office, run by Elva.

The proprietor said that the Weed Bank sells quite well (and by amazing coincidence a kid behind me hand one in his hand for purchase).

Are You Adult Enough?  (for Blue Q?)

Here’s a view looking out….

We LOVE profiling our stores.  If you have a favorite one, please send on over!!

Dude.  Really?  Is this a Fail?  HandzOff Anti-Masturbatory Gum?  Apparently the fine fragile folks posting at the Fail Blog might think so.

I wonder what they would’ve thought of this (which is now among our product graveyard):

I actually really liked the scent of this puppy.

Echm….

Once again, Blue Q is the darling of yet another trade show.  This time it’s the Natural Products Expo West show in Anaheim. 

This was a four day show (that  ended over the weekend) and the Blue Q shoppers were singled out by the Editors at the Natural Foods Merchandiser.

This trade show is all about natural and recycled and environmental concerns and the Blue Q bag collection is a perfect fit for their purpose.  Not only are the bags manufactured using recycled materials, but a portion of each sale is donated to charity.

The show is a great venue for remembering that healthy living isn’t just about what you eat.

What?    I’ve got a serious and sensitive and concerned side to my personality too.  I’m multi-layered.

Shut up.

Did you know that Twinkies contain Beef Fat?

And you can purchase half price packages of said Beef Fat Cream Filled Pound cake at the Hostess Thrift Shop.  Did you know that the Hostess Thrift Shop has a website???  And on website (oh, sorry, it’s a “Bakery Outlet” website), there is an icon that says “Counting Carbs?  Come on in!”

There is something so amazingly cathartic about driving 20 minutes out of your way to a store like that, walking in, and then paying for 8 boxes of Twinkies.  10 Twinkies per box.  Boxes of Twinkies.  Mmmmmmm.  Just saying that makes me feel so good.  Boxes of Twinkies piled up on the passenger seat.

I don’t buy Twinkies often, but I had this party to attend and I had no idea how to dress because the theme was Radioactive Bodega.  It benefited IS183 Art School of the Berkshires.  Seth (below on the right) spearheaded this brilliant shindig – they turned an old huge metal refinishing industrial space into this amazing event.  My friend called me in a panic hours before saying, “So, I’m supposed to dress up like…a store?”  Click here for more pics.

Hey look!  That girl made a dress out of our shoppers! 

So my concept was this:  I like to judge my friends by how I think they would be able to deal with a Zombie attack.  Like, Mike would do great with panic initially,  but he’d probably forget his “see in the dark goggles” in the car at some point and would go back to get it and then, bam!  Done.  Deborah would do well.  She’s crafty.  So, Deborah and I decided that we were going to walk the party with provisions that humans would need during a possible Zombie invasion (seemed to make sense to us).  Obviously, I had Twinkies.  They have like a 84 year shelf life.  She was going to carry batteries (hey, Deborah, I didn’t see one friggin’ battery!  Pringles are NOT batteries).

So, anyway, that is why there is an entire box (minus 2) of Twinkies in the kitchen here at work.

Sergio ate one yesterday at lunch.

So did Handyman.

I tried a Twinkie when I was putting my costume on this weekend.  Alone.  I closed the door.  Didn’t want anyone to know I was so weak that I had to eat one – I try to be healthy you know.  I opened up that crinkly wrapper, slid out that little mini poundcake with 3 insert cream holes on the bottom, sunk my teeth into the squishy beef fat pastry and I got a funny feeling in the back of my throat…. I mean, I think I’d be pretty good outliving the Zombies.  I’m pretty creative and can hold my pee if I really had to but Twinkies are completely disgusting and if I had to eat that to survive……

I’d be a goner.

Meryl Hooker named Blue Q Sales Rep of the Year for 2009
(psst:  if you don’t know what the heck a Rep is, see ***Paragraph 5)

 The announcement was made in Booth #1509 at the New York International Gift Fair on Sunday, January 31st.   Upon receiving this recognition she thanked  “the baby Jesus, KISS, Blue Q and all of my fabulous customers.  Now that I have this sales thing down, I’m moving on to world peace!”  In attendance were Seth and Mitch Nash – the owners of Blue Q.

Refreshment platters of cheese, nuts and dried fruits were accompanied by red wine.  Also on hand for the festivities were Blue Q Sales Department honchos Jen Cummings and Paul Boulais. 

Ms. Hooker was not seen wearing velvet or taffeta, though she was spotted sporting the quite fully glittered and equine worthy 1st Prize ribbon.

A monetary award was presented – and not refused.  “Hey, I might not get that world peace thing figured out on the first attempt,’” quipped Hooker.

***Paragraph 5:
Since Art Star and Handyman can’t do it all ourselves, Blue Q enlists the services of Sales Reps all over the country (and Canada, too) to show our products to store owners, buyers and merchandisers at gift stores, grocery stores, etc.  Their voices are part of the Blue Q choir.  Meryl Hooker belts out loud and clear in the mid-Atlantic area.

A resident of Washington DC, she also covers Maryland, Delaware and Virginia  for Blue Q as well as other (less notable) lines.  Though a full time sales rockstar, she occassionally moonlights as a garden gnome.

Her favorite flower is the daisy.

Visit her blog - Road Rage – to keep in touch with all that she’s got goin’ on.