‘Tongue in Chic”
The Los Angeles Times

The Times wasn’t really talking about the box itself but about The Standard in general.

Lots of hotels have gifts in the rooms – toiletries and such.  Maybe a bottle of water or M&M’s.  There’s stiff competition in the lodging market and at $250.00 a night  you sort expect something more than a teeny bar of soap and mango-lime shampoo.  Right?

At The Standard – you get condoms.  They do this so that you’ll have a  pleasurable climax to your stay.  I’ve not been to a The Standard myself so I’m not sure how far they’ll go to ensure your pleasure but I’m betting they’ll give you a  hand and bend over backward to serve you.

I know that the The Standard design team thought long and hard on the imagery they chose for the box.  Then they decided it wasn’t specific enough so they added the words ‘contains three lubricated condoms’.

Also, did they take a survey to determine how many condoms a person might reasonably need to have a good time ?  Or was that just how many would easily slip into an off the shelf box from their preferred box maker ?

And another thing, when you aren’t prepared for a good time, the last thing you’re thinking about is lubrication.  Not to worry, the good folks at The Standard have thought of everything for you.

Now, what’s the package for the nightstick and handcuffs look like ?

Yes, it's supposed to be upside down

We receive all types of solicitations at Blue Q.

We got this beauty from a box maker/printer the other day.

It was with a packet of materials to showcase the work that they do and to garner our future business.

Really?  Did they think that this box was going to help them achieve deep penetration in the box decorating market?

Do they know Blue Q at all?  This is how they think they’ll get into bed with us?

Our boxes are flocked.  Or foiled.  Or debossed.  Or embossed.  And diecut.  And have 8 colors.

This thing is flaccid.

Did they think we would be impressed with their limp display?

But it’s not entirely their fault.  They can only work with what they’re given.

But when I’m given pedestrian instructions, I don’t broadcast it and highlight it as an example of what I’m best at.

I don’t.  Do you?