Did you know that Twinkies contain Beef Fat?

And you can purchase half price packages of said Beef Fat Cream Filled Pound cake at the Hostess Thrift Shop.  Did you know that the Hostess Thrift Shop has a website???  And on website (oh, sorry, it’s a “Bakery Outlet” website), there is an icon that says “Counting Carbs?  Come on in!”

There is something so amazingly cathartic about driving 20 minutes out of your way to a store like that, walking in, and then paying for 8 boxes of Twinkies.  10 Twinkies per box.  Boxes of Twinkies.  Mmmmmmm.  Just saying that makes me feel so good.  Boxes of Twinkies piled up on the passenger seat.

I don’t buy Twinkies often, but I had this party to attend and I had no idea how to dress because the theme was Radioactive Bodega.  It benefited IS183 Art School of the Berkshires.  Seth (below on the right) spearheaded this brilliant shindig – they turned an old huge metal refinishing industrial space into this amazing event.  My friend called me in a panic hours before saying, “So, I’m supposed to dress up like…a store?”  Click here for more pics.

Hey look!  That girl made a dress out of our shoppers! 

So my concept was this:  I like to judge my friends by how I think they would be able to deal with a Zombie attack.  Like, Mike would do great with panic initially,  but he’d probably forget his “see in the dark goggles” in the car at some point and would go back to get it and then, bam!  Done.  Deborah would do well.  She’s crafty.  So, Deborah and I decided that we were going to walk the party with provisions that humans would need during a possible Zombie invasion (seemed to make sense to us).  Obviously, I had Twinkies.  They have like a 84 year shelf life.  She was going to carry batteries (hey, Deborah, I didn’t see one friggin’ battery!  Pringles are NOT batteries).

So, anyway, that is why there is an entire box (minus 2) of Twinkies in the kitchen here at work.

Sergio ate one yesterday at lunch.

So did Handyman.

I tried a Twinkie when I was putting my costume on this weekend.  Alone.  I closed the door.  Didn’t want anyone to know I was so weak that I had to eat one – I try to be healthy you know.  I opened up that crinkly wrapper, slid out that little mini poundcake with 3 insert cream holes on the bottom, sunk my teeth into the squishy beef fat pastry and I got a funny feeling in the back of my throat…. I mean, I think I’d be pretty good outliving the Zombies.  I’m pretty creative and can hold my pee if I really had to but Twinkies are completely disgusting and if I had to eat that to survive……

I’d be a goner.